DISASTROUS PESTO

Last time I tried to make it, I spent half an hour trying to scrape the whole leaves away from the sides of the blender with a wooden spoon, so this time I decided to take the trouble to get the food processor set up.

First I discovered I had no more Parmesan cheese (after picking 4 cups of basil from the plants in the front and carefully separating leaf from stem). Oh well, it can be added later.

I put the leaves and pine nuts into the bowl of the food processor and press "pulse." Because of the dumb-ass design of the food processor, leaves start shooting out of the chute at the top (I lost the extra piece you need to block shit from flying out of the container. Too many extraneous pieces on the food processor to keep track of...)

I have some kind of flat plastic thing that fits on top of the blade stem. I figured that might work to keep things from flying out. I put it on, and then discovered that the food processor bowl no longer wanted to lock in place, no matter how hard I pushed on it. Rahul helped me get it locked.

Chewed-up bits of leaves started spewing out of the food processor again; on top of that, I couldn't pour olive oil down the feed tube anymore because there was a flat plastic thing blocking the feed tube.

I opened it again, removed the plastic piece, and got Rahul to help me lock it back in place.

Finally I was able to get the olive oil into the pesto. It turned into a lovely, smooth, creamy green sauce in seconds.

I patted the sauce into an ice cube tray and headed to the freezer.

When I opened the freezer door, a gallon bottle of water that had been precariously balanced on top of the fridge immediately fell down and burst open, pouring water all over the floor and my feet.

The mop was sitting on the bare dirt outside in the side yard, so I ended up soaking up the water with a towel rather than washing the mop as a preliminary to cleaning up the kitchen.

What a way to spend 10:00 on a Sunday night. I'll feel good about it later when I'm enjoying the nice summery pesto, I guess.

4 cups basil leaves
2/3 cup almonds and pine nuts
2 cloves elephant garlic
1 cup extra virgin olive oil
salt